We live in the age of a concession stand arms race where it's every professional sports team's goal — no, duty — to release the most mind-boggling game-day grub.
Now, the Washington Nationals have done the unthinkable and bastardized the most beloved of all ballpark foods: the hot dog.
And some people will love it, while others are sharpening pitchforks as we speak.
On Friday, the Washington Nationals welcomed the Baltimore Orioles to town for Hot Dog Day.
This involved all kinds of specialty hot dogs (though, in the past, I've talked about how a standard ballpark dog with yellow mustard is perfect), and the show-stealers were the hot dog fries.
They are what they sound like: wieners sliced up shoestring-style served with some chipotle ranch.
Alright, before we all run to opposite sides of the room on this one, at least we can all agree that it kicks ass that these come in a mini-batting helmet.
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Those are always great.
Now, I can see both perspectives on this.
On one hand, this seems like a bit of a horror show. I mean, frying hot dogs until they're dry sticks seems like a bad idea. Plus, I think if I ate fried hot dogs dunked in chipotle ranch, the doctor would probably wake up in a cold sweat.
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Plus, I'm not a fan of messing with the sacred hot dog, especially in a ballpark.
That said...
If I were at a game with some pals, I might not order these (I mean, maybe for the mini helmet), but if someone else did, I'd probably see if I could take a taste.
Y'know. Even if just for the story... and because I think chipotle ranch and hot dog sounds like it could be a flavor we have not explored enough as a society.